Thursday, 22 August 2013

How Do I Feel
 
What a beautiful night
And the wind.... fuuuu(sound of wind)
 
I open my eyes
Looking up and I puzzled
See the darkess sky
No moon, no stars, no clouds
Nothing...and
I can feel the loneliness
The emptiness in my heart
But then...
I hear a fine sound
so soft, so tiny and yet so many
And it feels peaceful to hear
I know what it is
Its the sound of crickets
Fuuu...(the sound of wind blow)

What a fresh air
Blowing slowly and gently touch my lips
Again, I looked up
I smile...
Coz I see a very fine star
Very small
Flashing and shining bright
Despite the darkness that meet all
I thought for a moment
Well...
Don't worry my sweet girl
Let it be
Coz emptiness can be fill by
Happiness.

Saturday, 10 August 2013

 
 
 
Songs that match my day
Keith Urban
 
 
 Highway  Don't Care
 
 
I wanna love somebody like you
 
 

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

New Determinations for 2013

January 1, 2013 ~ Today is the first day of the new year. This year I want to make a difference to myself which I will set a new determination that I will be the first to achieve this year. My determination of 2012 has been achieved, that is, I already got into the university, achieve the best results for myself in STPM (1A 3B) and get at least band 3 in MUET examination. After struggling in STPM, now, I endured four years to hold a degree.

 In August 2012, I have received an offer to study at the University Utara Malaysia (UUM) in Kedah and offered degree programme in business administration with honors. On September 3, 2012, for the first time I set my foot into UUM and for the first time also I stepped my foot into the land of the peninsula. Despite the weather, culture and the environment were different from Sarawak, however, during the four months I was in UUM, I have managed to adapt to the weather, the culture and environment here

Indeed, a statement being away from families and are in a foreign place alone is the most difficult thing for a student. I myself was initially fearful and suspicious of the people in here because they are vastly different culture to the culture at my place. This is the first time I see food sellers using the microphone as a tool of communication with the customer. Honestly, I had a culture shock when I was in UUM.

When someone has got into the university, the first thing they want to accomplish is graduating with excellent results and holds a degree and thus gets the job appropriate to their educational level. However, for me, I put this determination in second place.

 My first determination for 2013 is that I want to change my old self to my new self. I want to change my personality to a person's self reliable, trusted to run the task, be sure to communicate with calm and able to think outside the box. Since 1999 until year 2012, I still cling to my old personality. Although I'm active in high school, but, since I step my foot in university, my fear still control myself. Therefore, in this new year I am determined to change myself.

My third determination is that I want to be single until I was 28 years old. I want to focus on the success I want to achieve for the next time I get promoted degree, became a career woman and then continue to pursue a doctorate degrees. Facts say we learn knowledge as lifelong learning. So, as long as I breathe, as long as I will learn knowledge. Being single have much benefit for myself because I can feel my freedom, not to be jealous to anyone and I can be friend with anyone without shackled. Instead of that, I can overcome my shyness in front of others. 

Final determination was that I want to build a good relationship with colleagues at the university during my 4 years at UUM. I want to increase my friends so that I can get a lot of benefits in terms of learning from lectures, to learn more about the culture and know more about interesting places to visit and create a strong bond of friendship. If I have a feeling for someone, I will try to control myself or if I do not want that feeling bother me, I will continue to express my feeling to that person and decide to remain as a friend at the university.

Therefore,  I will hold my four determinations that I have set and try to achieve it with all my heart.

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

2012 CHRISTMAS



Hari ini 25 Disember 2012, iaitu Hari Christmas. Sepatutnya aku berasa gembira bila tibanya Hari Christmas. Tiap tahun aku menantikan Hari Christmas kerana Hari Christmas ialah hari paling bahagia buatku. Seminggu sebelum Christmas, aku, kakakku, Rebecca dan adikku, Carol sudah mula menyenaraikan barang makanan yang perlu dibeli. Wwaaahhh!!! Seronoknya menyambut Hari Christmas di rumah. Aku rindukan suasana bersama adik-beradik sebenarnya. Bila bersama kami akan bergelak ketawa, bergurau senda, bermain bersama, makan bersama dan pergi bersiar-siar bersama. Sempat juga kami berkongsi kisah hidup selama berjauhan. Tahun ini, aku berjauhan dari keluarga. Rasa rinduku pada mereka sangat kuat sehinggakan aku sebak di dalam hati walaupun ramai kawan menghiburkan hatiku. Aku cuba buatkan diriku gembira tetapi hatiku dah melayang pergi rumah. Rindukan kucingku.... rindukan masakan ayam rendang dan sayur campur mak aku. Malam sebelum Christmas, aku pergi ke gereja di Changlun untuk bersembahyang dan berdoa serta menyambut kelahiran Yesus. Sangat aman bila saya menjejakkan kaki dalam gereja sambil berdoa dan melihat air muka anak-anak Tuhan yang ceria dan riang. Rasa gembira juga bila menyanyikan lagu gereja. Sempat juga aku bergambar dengan rakan-rakan di gereja. Tidak sangka ya kerana aku tidak menyangka akan segembira ini. Dulu, saat paling gembira ialah saat menyambut Christmas di rumah. 


Sekarang, aku dapat merasakan kegembiraan apabila berada di gereja. Sangat sukacita. Namun, apabila aku keluar dari gereja, perasaanku mulai sedih. Aku mulai merindukan ibu bapaku, adikku, abang dan kakakku serta kucingku. Agaknya, adakah mereka gembira sekarang? Sejak aku balik dari gereja, aku menantikan ucapan Merry Christmas dari adik-beradikku. Namun, tiada seorang pun menghubungiku malahan tiada satu pun mesej dari mereka. Bilaku melihat rakan sebilikku berbual dengan saudaranya melalui telefon, perasaanku kian melayani kesedihanku. Aku tidak menyangka air mataku berlinangan dan aku tidak dapat menahan air mataku jatuh membasahi pipiku. Kenapalah aku bersedih sedangkan berjauhan dari keluarga adalah lumrah hidup bila melanjutkan pelajaran di tempat jauh. Malam tadi aku meluahkan perasaan sedihku pada rakanku yang senasib denganku. Kami sama-sama berjauhan dari keluarga. Terubat juga perasaanku bila mendengar kata-kata rakanku dan aku sangat gembira bila dia mengucapkan Merry Christmas kepadaku. Walaupun belum sepenuhnya terubat, namun, sekurang-kurangnya dia orang pertama ucapkan Merry Christmas kepada aku selepas jam 12.00 p.m. Terima kasih kepada rakanku ini kerana sanggup melayani aku yang banyak karenah. Terima kasih banyak-banyak...

Pagi tadi agak lewat aku masuk tidur hanya kerana perasaan sedihku ini. Sekarang, perasaanku terubat akhirnya kerana selepas jam 12.00 p.m, banyak rakan-rakanku ucapkan Merry Christmas kepadaku biarpun hanya melalui mesej. Salah seorang rakanku menganggap aku sebagai adiknya kerana dia tiada adik perempuan dan dia turut memujuk aku agar aku gembira. Tapi sebaliknya aku menitiskan air mata kerana dia meluahkan kata-kata iklasnya dengan mengatakan bahawa dia menyayangiku seperti adiknya walaupun aku bukan adik sebenarnya. Aku sangat terharu. Bila difikirkan selama aku berada di UUM, aku merasakan hidupku bertuah sebenarnya menemui dan memiliki rakan-rakan yang baik dan mengambil berat terhadap aku. Tengahari tadi aku menerima mesej daripada adikku. Aku sangat gembira kerana dia masih ingat aku dan mengucapkan Merry Christmas kepadaku. Hahaha....aku mulai melayani perasaan sebakku tetapi perasaan sebak ini bukanlah perasaan sedih tetapi perasaan terharu dan gembira kerana dia mengingatiku. Luot,,,aku sangat sayang kamu. Kamulah satu-satunya adik yang palingku sayangi dan kasihi. Tiada siapapun mampu menggantikan tempatmu kerana kamu bersamaku bila aku berada dalam suka dan duka. Engkau selalu menjadi tempatku meluahkan perasaan dan sering memujukku bilaku sedih. Luot, aku sedaya upaya untuk memberi terbaik untukmu dan menggembirakan hatimu. Terima kasih adikku. Moga Tuhan sentiasa melindungimu dan memberkatimu.



Kepada rakan-rakanku Venn, Albert, Janiey, Helda, Luat, Baniey, Canniga, Aris dan Sylvia,,,, terima kasih kerana memberi ucapan Merry Christmas dan kata-kata semangat kepadaku pagi tadi. Tiada kata dapat ungkapkan perasan gembiraku ini. Aku hanya mampu mengatakan aku sangat bertuah mengenali kamu semua dan menghiburkan aku.

Kepada rakan-rakanku yang kukenali di UUM, aku ucapkan Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. Semoga hari-hari kalian bahagia selalu dan moga hari-hari kalian juga ceria di samping rakan-rakan walaupun kita sama-sama berjauhan dari keluarga. Aku sangat menghargai kehadiran kalian semua dalam hidupku. Aku sangat menyayangi kalian. 

Sekian...



















Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Believe

This song is dedicate to the world



I can still singing
Through the sound from my heart
Eventhough days and nights
Passing by for the rest of my life

 C/O
I still believe
There's a light in my life
Although I see the day
Become even darker
But still there's a light

I still believe
There's a hope in my eyes
Although I see the end
The end of the world
But still there's a hope 

Everytime I look the sky
Everytime I spoke to myself
Everytime I dreamnt a peace between us...

~ Repeat chorus {C/O} ~  



Written by: Myself...


LIGHT & HOPE







      

Monday, 17 December 2012

Feeling


Heart
God created a heart to arouse
Feelings of love, affection  and devotion
And
express a peace between His people

God gave His people the feeling to
Understand... what a precious
What a wonderful and valuable
His gift to His people
How lucky human being
 To have a feeling that is capable
To change everything

And I felt
I...myself felt very lucky
Living as a human
Possessing a feeling
A feeling which able
To assess good or bad
To enjoy the pleasures of the world
To feel the happiness of the world
 
But the feeling
Not only  for happiness
A feelings  for human
 To experience the pain
Feel the soreness
Cope with these allegations
With the utmost tenacity

And I already know its meaning
Have a feeling
And ...
I already know the purpose of feeling
Feelings that need to be protected and cared

 (No words can express:
Crying heart)




Friday, 14 December 2012

Feeling of day




Sometimes I do not want the day after this day
Coz I'm looking forward
For something new
Something that I don’t know
Something that is difficult
For me to expect
For me to accept

Sometime
I wonder
Why God create the day before tomorrow?
Why God create the day after today?

Wondering alone
Wondering  what will happen
While drinking hot coffee
Grab a paper and a pen
Lists what I want to be happen

After this day
What should I do?

Sometime I'm scared
Afraid of what I want does not happen
 Does not happen as what I want
And this fear often exist
Without my permission

Do you know
People used to say
Nothing can stop by tomorrow
Nothing can stop the movement of time

Sometimes I sigh
Funny right?
Coz I often complain
 Complain about something doesn’t exist

Tomorrow
If only I knew what was going to happen
Am I able to experience it?
Am I able to accept it?

 I thought for a moment
And I smiled
A smile that give a sign of different question
Why should I be afraid?
Why should I worry, restless, pounding?
Isn't tomorrow is the beginning of a new life?
Isn't tomorrow is the beginning of a new day?

Then I heard my heart ask me again
Why don't you try to face it?
It's not as bad as what you expect 

(No words can express:
Crying heart)

Feeling of the Day